Yay, back to personal blog...
I don't know what it is about veganism, but it seems like it's impossible to retain an indifferent feeling towards it. I was a very strict vegan for nearly a year, and after going to "the dark side" I dislike veganism with the same passion that I defended it with before.
I know there are enough ex-vegan stories out there, but I don't see any problem with another one on a dead tea blog. When you are under the influence of veganism, it's hard to see the whole problem if health starts to decline. As a vegan, I looked back at pictures of myself just before becoming vegetarian in the first place, and wondered why I at least looked healthy back then. I had a sneaking suspicion that if I could just eat meat, I would look healthy again, but that would mean including cholesterol and animal fats back in my diet.
The long story:
I went vegetarian shortly after meeting my girlfriend who was vegetarian at the time. We went to vegetarian friendly places, and I wound up eating vegetarian (I even ordered a vegan option before I knew she was vegetarian). After a while, I noticed that I started feeling better, so I made the decision to go vegetarian. Sometime after realizing I don't eat animals, I felt good about myself for being able to look at animals without thinking they could possibly be food. I felt liberated, and suddenly it became an ethical stance. So, now that I care about the animals, I learn about the dairy industry feeding the veal industry, and everything else, so veganism seems like the ideal. It took a while to give up eggs and cheese, but I do it, and my girlfriend was more than happy to go vegan because she was vegan for 5 years before being alienated into including some animal products into her diet.
It was exciting and liberating giving up all animal products. Sure I missed being able to have more options going out to eat and whatnot, but I was too excited during this period to care. I even went to Sams club with my parents, and was shocked how much they rely on animals for food. I even felt as strongly about honey as I felt about meat simply because it was an animal product.
The gradual downfall begins. Sometime later, my parents tell me that I'm not looking as healthy as I used to. My eyes started to develop bags under them, and I started losing weight. I thought I just wasn't eating enough. Then the school semester starts, and everything starts falling apart, while my stance as a vegan just strengthens. I lose more weight, I start feeling weak, and I start getting tired all the time. I gave blood once during this time, and the weakness after giving blood didn't go away after a week or two, so I went to the doctor for blood tests. I wasn't sure what the doctor would say since there is the understanding among vegans that doctors know nothing about nutrition. He just asked why I was vegan, and went about blood tests without ever saying that I should change my diet. Everything came back normal, but I still felt tired and weak. I ended up deciding that I wasn't eating enough.
Sometime during all of this, I start learning about veganism and health, and constantly read about how it's the healthiest diet ever because it's low fat and has no cholesterol. I even toyed with the idea of going raw vegan, but some research on beyondveg.com quickly steered me away from it. But now that I discovered this site, I keep reading about the downsides of vegetarian diets that get overlooked. At this point, my weight started dipping down to 119 and I my health started getting worse and worse. I was tired all the time, I was incredibly prone to depression which isn't like me, and I just simply looked like a pale and sickly vegan. My face looked drawn out and started turning yellow next to my eyes. With all these problems, I slowly started weeding out vegetarian myths to convince myself that I should change my diet. It was a long process, but was sped up when my body started aching everywhere, and I started getting chest pains. I have had my lungs collapse 3 times in the past, and had lung surgery twice, so this was particularly scary for me. At this point, I had no appetite, and I just drank a lot of yerba mate to soothe the pain. At last I decide to go vegetarian, which helped a lot. I ate eggs in the morning, and included a lot of cheese in everything else. The eggs in particular made me feel the best. Because I felt better eating animal products, I didn't feel it was unethical, but I still couldn't justify eating meat. After less than a week, I felt I plateaued as a vegetarian. The best I felt was in the morning after eggs, and the rest of the day was downhill. It was the hardest thing for me to do, but I went back to eating meat, and my girlfriend did too. We went to the Olive Garden for our first taste of meat in how long, and I remember driving there feeling like I was driving to my execution. I still felt guilty, but ate it anyway.
It was a bit of a process, but I'm no longer ethically opposed to it, and I feel better than ever eating meat. I'm no longer tired all the time, and can even stay awake in class now. I'm no longer prone to depression I gained most of my weight back, and I got back to exercising with enthusiasm. In fact, I feel like I need to exercise to blow off some energy. I stopped taking multivitamins about a week ago, and feel fine, which wasn't possible even as a vegetarian.
My diet now is questionable as far as health goes, but I feel so much better on it than when I was vegan. As a vegan, I tried cooking at home as much as possible, and tried limiting the fake meats and processed foods. It wasn't ideal, but it appeared much healthier than a meat based diet. Now I eat more processed foods (though I still limit them) and I consume a lot of fat, especially saturated fat. I come close to shunning sugar entirely, though I eat a fair amount of fruit, and occasionally put honey in yerba. I guess my point is, if it's that hard to be healthy as a vegan, and that easy to be healthy as an omnivore without even supplementing, I don't see how veganism could be so natural.
The reason I'm writing this is just to possibly help vegans or vegetarians that don't feel healthy after giving up meat and animal products. I know this is an obscure dead tea blog of some nobody, but I want to contribute in whatever small way I can. It is truly difficult to make the realization that animal products or even meat may be required to be healthy. I remember reading the blog "let them eat meat" as a vegan, and writing it off because vegan freak told me that ex-vegans are the devil and can't be trusted. I wish I would have listened back then, if you're not feeling as healthy as a vegan, you're not doing veganism wrong, veganism is just wrong for you.
I'm also writing this because I'm annoyed that I can't leave the subject alone. I feel like I'm recovering from an eating disorder, and I want nothing to do with vegan ethics, but I feel like I can't get away from it. I keep reading vegan sites for amusement, and often read ex-vegan stuff too. I also read "the vegetarian way" which is a constant source of amusement and frustration. I just want to forget about this part of my life, but I can't leave it alone. I already plan to burn my copy of "skinny bitch" but I guess this will be a bit of process. For now, I'll just post this, then decide whether I want sardines or a riblet sandwich.